Adrian w4m The "bike guy"'s tirade while we were waiting yesterday afternoon has impacted me a lot more than i had thought. I realized this today when he seated himself in front of me. Yesterday, while we were waiting, he was in a complete rage yelling out at the air, horribly angry and he said some things that were quite disturbing that I didn't go into detail about, violent in nature. He was aware of my presence cuz when he arrived we acknowledged one another with "hi's" then he sat on the bench and soon after started screaming at no one. I was off to his side 20ft or so. The thing that scares me is that he then boarded and acted like nothing happened .He became his ladies seeking casual sex Lesterville jovial self, asking me why I didn't have any laundry - his normal, harmless, usual self. As if he had no remembrance of what he had just been doing. He often comes to Milpitas and even has disembarked at my stop several times in the afternoon and I thought him to be so harmless i never took note of whether or not he took note of me and where i live. He scared me yesterday and then i had time to think about it , then he was right there in front of me and a switch came on inside me. I didn't want to get his attention, wanted to be invisible. I was even scared to walk by the guy to get up to where you were. That's how tough I am. That's really lame , I need to be tougher. Do not make the assumption the failure to speak with you has any other reason than i don't know how to handle the fear and discomfort that the Jeckyll and Hyde guy has caused inside me. I froze. If only he could've sat in back of me from the start. But now, I am worried that ignoring him might make that other personality he doesn't seem to remember come out, i am ashamed i cannot seem to handle this very well and do not like to have something almost paralyze me like he did today. This is the truth , i so wanted to come up and talk with you but sadly I was too chicken to pass that guy. Give me my purple heart for bravery, okay. This hasn't been the greatest of days. Tomorrow will be better...

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